Would you prefer a dry morsel for a meal but a house filled with peace than a piece of steak in a house ruined in strife?
Strife, also known as the silent killer that robs many relationships of experiencing their purpose and fulfilment, has become the norm in our society. It has become okay to have your say in everything and to raise your opinion, no matter the cost. I know I have fallen before this stumbling block a couple of times in my life and still do at times, but that is not what God wants for us. He wants more and better…
One morning last week while I was driving to work, I approached a part of the road where the traffic was bumper-to-bumper. I noticed a couple fighting in a car in the oncoming traffic. The fight was real and you could almost see the disgust and dislike in their faces and the way they were shouting at each other. It broke my heart to see that and in that moment I just felt the Lord say, “Pray for them. That is not what I want for them. I have more”. So I prayed God’s peace over them and cursed the strife that was hanging between them. I barely said “Amen” when I saw another car with another couple. Fighting. Again, I felt the sadness for them as I could just feel how fights like these ruin your entire day as God did not make us to fight but to live life with trouble-free hearts and minds.
Again, I felt to just pray and so I did. While still thinking about the two couples and how it relates to my own life with my family, my husband and my children, I understood why God hates ‘strife’. It destroys. It takes away the goodness God meant for a relationship to have. And it builds walls between each other.
Bottom-line is, strife is not okay.
Strife damages, if not destroy, the perception of God’s love that He meant to be displayed through our lives to others. If I am to fight the entire day with my husband or my children, I can just imagine how that would not give them a good experience of God’s love that should be felt through their interaction with me. Our children draw their pictures of God’s love through the way we deal with them and if we can remain loving and patient when they are acting out, we give them a glimpse of God’s love and mercy. The same way when we deal with others, who may not look at life the same way we do. If we can remain kind, patient and look at them through the eyes of Grace, it will leave an impact.
The Bible is filled with verses about peace and how we should do everything in our power to not live in strife:
“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” (Romans 14:19 ESV)
“Better a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.” (Proverbs 17:1 ESV)
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18 ESV)
“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Proverbs 10:12 ESV)
God’s purpose for us is to live in peace, a place where we do not “let our hearts be troubled” (John 14:1) because if we can move in that space, we will not get upset about things that do not work out the way we planned them to but we will trust in God to provide in His way according to His riches. If we cannot get along with someone, instead of trying to force them to confirm to our side and how we want them to be, pray and let God work on their hearts to become not the person we want them to be but who God destined for them to be. In that way, we take the pressure off ourselves and trust in God to make things work out. If God cannot sort out a problem, what makes us think we can?
What is there for us to do?
We are left with one instruction, “Let not your heart be troubled” (John 14:1) because if we can remain untroubled, the peace in our heart keeps the door to strife shut and strife has no dominion in our lives. When we keep our hearts from being troubled, God can take care of everything else in our lives, whether it is a relationship, a child, a spouse, a friend, a job, a financial difficulty or a breakthrough. When we remain trouble-free, we open the door for God to work freely in and through our lives.
In everything we say or do, let’s choose to hold onto the peace of God that He placed in our hearts above the volatile circumstances that changes around us all the time. Let’s stop fighting to be troubled about many things and pursue only to not let our hearts be troubled. In that way, strife will have one way to go and that is out the back door.
Maretha Retief